The 3 C’s

Those that follow me on Twitter may have seen or heard me speak of this before, on posts and in Spaces, but I thought it should be something I could elaborate on here on OF. It is a set of standards/rules/model I go by when looking at what makes a good FinDom relationship, although this can very much apply to a majority of D/s relationships. 

3 things I look for and stand by personally, when looking for a good, long lasting sub. 

Now obviously there is things that sit outside of this but for me these are 3 main, ideal, must haves I want so I'll jump straight in. 

• Connection

Most certainly the most important of all in my opinion. Is there that “spark”? Do Dom and sub have same end goal? Do I enjoy using, draining, humiliating, bullying, nurturing this sub, and is that reciprocated.

This cannot be worked on, it's there or its not. You know if you just click with someone, I feel having this goes a long way. It helps define, what limits could be there, what can be achieved, how comfortable each is, can there be relationship out side of D/s (if either want that), what trust is in play, can sub truly give themselves or do they have to hold back. Connection covers so much, and either you've got it, or you haven't. Without this, really, the others will fall out. 

One of the main reasons likely to see a D/s relationship fall apart and even just a normal romantic one…. You just didn't get one another. 

• Communication 

This one speaks for itself, communication, we'd be nowhere in the world without it. Humans instinct is to communicate, regardless of what form that takes. Clear, concise and fluid communication will always lead to a better relationship. The opportunity for the sub to understand how the Master likes to be served, what they enjoy, what they don't like, what they want from service. And this also goes the other way too, 90% of the time, for a majority of subs I've dealt with. Both parties are here for something/s and without discussion, the real reason would be hard to understand. It can aid, greatly, in building upon that first C, connection, and consistency is key here. Way too often I've spoke to subs where great service has broken down, as one party, doesn't commit enough to this. Keeping things fresh, evolving, in line with boths wants and needs (as I fully agree it is a two way street, that obviously the Dom will command that street, but nonetheless, still two way) 

Without communication, and honesty in your communication, alongside consistent communication, things quickly break down. 

• Control 

Now this is something dear to me, and of course, means different things to us all, and it is where these 3 C’s hone themselves in to being specific around D/s / FinDom instead of a conventional relationship. 

Having the right kind and right level of control. Subs expectations of this differ greatly (from my experience) and it is, and always should be, the Doms duty to control this. Whatever form it takes, weather it might be Finance/Bills, the clothes a subs wear, it's schedule, what it sends or when, all the way to the extreams of how it looks, what it eats or who it sees, there are so many levels to it and it's is a crucial 3rd C. 

I fucking love controlling, it feeds my sadism, is shows my power, is let's me be the Dom I enjoy being. And it paves the way for the dynamic of my D/s relationships. It takes time and commitment from both sides but with the right effort, the initial and continual connection, partnered with that all important communication, the sky's the limits. 

So what now?

Be open and honest about what you might or might not like to do or try. Keep it fresh. Work on it. Trust is a huge factor, and that doesn't come over night. 

So, there they are, Major Masters 3 C’s 

Connection, Communication, Control. 

I’d love to hear others input and if they have similar things they look for or do to enjoy both Dom and sub are in a thriving place to continue with the kink they love! 

MM