They say that a good relationship has its ups and downs, and that the mark of a good one is coming through challenges successfully. Not this one, I’ve fucked off and bolted from the stable. DM’s open 😂

Monday night I was so tired.  That bad nights 💤 I referenced in my previous blog, plus the sort of constant reminder of what I’d signed up to had  hit home - mentally exhausted from this feeling of constant control. It was an early night . I dropped a message to the boss and dozed off.

Tuesday I was working from home so it felt like it was going  to be a quiet day in terms of spending . Turns out , I didn’t actually spend a penny (no pun intended) . I honestly can’t remember the last time I didn’t spend anything at all in a day . There is always something to buy whether it’s ‘needed’ or ‘wanted’!

Normally I get excited about ‘being zero’d’ as part of a drain - this was the opposite . It hit different , but felt like a huge sense of achievement . The boss was delighted and encouraged me. I felt more energised and focused about the rest of the week. We had an awesome chat that evening about how it’s going, and what we want to do next. We both like new  ideas and making plans , and are always thinking about the future which I love. 

Wednesday I was back in the office. No lunch to be purchased, I could make my own at home and take it with me. That was the first time doing that in more than a decade probably. What should I have? Keep it simple - stick to the classic ham and cheese sandwich and a bag of crisps…. Can’t go wrong. Things had started to normalise , didn’t feel so strange having to ask for the money for the train. No other funds would be required. Straight home after work. Getting into this , the discipline of it. Appreciating the challenges and facing them head on for the boss. 

I should mention that SHM’s favourite part of the week was definitely the packed lunch! 

I appreciate that for many it’s probably pretty normal to head home after work on a Wednesday, but I usually have drinks or dinner planned after work.  The first day after being in London I got loads of comments; what I learnt was that we couldn’t possibly please everyone with this one , everyone’s interpretation is different : too strict , not strict enough , should have done this or that. 

We kinda absorbed that info and thought ‘it’s our thing and our relationship , we play by the rules we agreed’, and ultimately as long as we are both happy then we’ve played our part in the trial. Focus on the boss and the task, not everyone else. More than just a lesson from the trial, a nice reminder of a life lesson . That said, the level of engagement  and support from the community has been really appreciated by us both. 

Thursday was another zero spend day- I didn’t even ask. I actually attempted to cook my own dinner too. Fuck it was dull, and the local sushi place had an offer on!! I didn’t even ask because actually the night before the boss put a couple of hot ideas to me about how the funds he would retain from this trial could be used longer term and it REALLY excited me 🔥. Nice couple of drains that evening too, that would go towards the new idea 💷

Friday was the same. Another zero spend day! I can’t even remember what internet shopping is. Started reminiscing about the days of catalogues: Argos, littlewoods anyone? The day flew by with work and then physio (free from the LTA before a stewards enquiry is started on the cost) in the evening then a couple mates came over and we messed about on my decks and sampler as they’d got me Tine Moore - Never Gonna Let You Go on vinyl (classic U.K. Garage anthem). This TPE lark is a doddle 😂. Starting to think about what percent the boss is going to have retained for the week. I do love the numbers in findom! 

I’ve known for a long time that I’m lucky to be in the financial position I am. My lifestyle often drives conversations and a lot of banter with SHM - exclamations of ‘how much?’ are not uncommon 😂. We discuss the cost of things regularly! TPE has been a bit of a reality check for sure. Turns out I rely heavily on spending to achieve the level of day to day satisfaction I need! I like the finer things in life - that includes the best boss 😉. 

Final thoughts:

Overall TPE has been interesting, but probably not a great fit for our relationship long term. Being ‘extra’ is a fundamental part of my personality it would seem, and secretly I think the boss quite likes leveraging that !! It’s definitely something I’d be up for doing again, but in small sprints a bit like this trial. It’s a good way to be bought back down to Earth and re-establish deeper control should it ever be needed. I’m honestly not that difficult to handle though 😂

With TPE finished and the boss retaining 74% of my income for the week  🔥, plus our BIG target already at 98%, our next adventure together awaits. We’ll have known each other a year soon. Feels like we’ve come a long way since our first message exchange and send! For fun here’s my first ever message to him :

“Am looking to be humiliated by a lad and do my first ever atm rinse. If decent bants then I want to be made to set up a standing order to a guy that sends me random embarrassing tasks to do from time to time . Let me know if u wanna chat more”. 

I read that now and it looks so transactinaI -I think we’ve achieved that and something  for more deep rooted and complex!

Thanks again for the amazing support everyone . Very happy to be owned by SHM and to be part of this community. You’ve all made this Switch a happy man, none more so than my Owner SHM though, who I have built a deep bond with, and have the upmost respect for . Findom or friend  🔥