On December 5, 2023, Walt Disney would have celebrated his 122nd birthday. Also, on December 5, 2023, my Owner dumped me.

Yes, despite having a Disney-like origin story to our relationship in which I wrote in length, Master Bradley kicked me to the curb. In a moment of honesty to the women He will most likely ask to marry Him this year, she found the fact that He was treating me like dirt to be off-putting. She was apoplectic, and because He truly wanted to be open and transparent with the woman who would eventually m****r His kids, our relationship ended.

This is the second Alpha-faggot relationship I’ve been in that has ended abruptly with a text message. I wrote at length about how my relationship with Master Jack ended back in the summer of 2014 (I referred to him as Mr. Logan at the time), but in short, when Jack made mention of my parents and I spazzed out, I was sent packing. I haven’t talked to him since. Almost a decade apart, I’m fortunate I’m able to still be friends with my former owner, but it is very clear that I was not important enough to be maintain what we had worked so hard to carve out.

**

In both cases, I was dropped abruptly. In my defense, involving my parents in any aspect of an A/f relationship is a scary thought. Master Jack knew every aspect of my life, even my home address (I was back at home with my folks at the time) so He could wreck my life with abandon. He threw out a line to get a rise out of me, it worked, and the relationship was over. With Master Bradley, I was minding my business and, all of a sudden, I got a text saying it was over. It was so out-of-the-blue, I didn’t even know what he meant. Both broke my heart.

Brokenhearted or not, this is the norm.

What gives, you may ask? Welcome to the world of the Alpha-faggot (A/f) relationship.

Unlike Master/slave (M/s) and Dominant/submissive (D/s) and even less known Owner/property (O/p) relationships, A/f relationships are extremely esoteric. What even is an Alpha-faggot relationship? For once, Urban Dictionary does the BDSM community justice with their definition, coming from user db4264.

Brace yourself. Alpha-faggot is a relationship type refers to a consensual subculture/fetish in which a a dominant male (the alpha) treats a submissive male (the faggot) in a manner purposefully designed by both parties to denigrate the "faggot" and exalt the "alpha." It draws on a notion of male hierarchy similar to patriarchal views--that there are some men who are inherently superior as a matter of biology (similar to the view that men are inherently, biologically superior to women). This means that "alphas" come out on top of the hierarchy with "faggots" as little more than objects to be used. Often it diverts the stigma that attaches to masculine tops who get paid by wealthy bottoms to have sex with those bottoms. For example, instead of applying a social stigma to the "gay for pay" top, the alpha-faggot fetish would exalt the alpha's ability to exploit thirsty "cash faggots."

The example the site gives (i.e., how to use the word in a sentence?) are as follows...

Alpha: "Worthless pussyboy cash faggots like you were made to get slapped, spit on, fucked in your pussies, deepthroated, and maked to drink alpha piss by alphas like me.”

Faggot: "I was born inferior--destined to be locked in an alpha-faggot relationship in which my alpha uses me in whatever way pleases him."

Unlike the aforementioned hierarchical relationship types, A/f relationships focus on the overall worthlessness of the faggot. That’s built into the core of the relationship. Both Massa Jack and Massa Bradley saw me as inferior while I put both Men on pedestals.

In fact, despite them being very different, my relationship with each of them were very similar. Both were the centers of my life. I woke up thinking about them; I went to bed thinking about them. Both of them convinced me to fall head over heels for them, encouraging the love and infatuation that had developed inside me, all to throw the relationship away when it became inconvenient. I paid both of them handsomely and found joy in it, even when I wasn’t in the best spot to pay. They are both straight…not in that DL “I guess you can suck my dick” kind of way, but in an authentic heterosexual kind of way. Both of them were on my real-life social media, with front row seats to my real life. And both had gotten me to the place where I was going to move to become their domestic servant; one to Indiana/Texas, the other back home to Ohio.

Reading that, you might think the relationships are one-sided, even compared to M/s or D/s relationships. And you’d be right; A/f relationships are bottom feeders worshiping gods. Both Bradley and Jack were men that, even if gay, were out of my league, so to associate with men I saw as gods was the greatest feeling in the world…and the nature of our relationships reflected that.

However, the reason you don’t see these relationships represented in different corners of the BDSM world is due to the fact that most lifestyle participants see this as pure exploitation.

Most A/f relationships manifest themselves online. They’re virtual relationships. You see it manifested primarily as FinDom relationships, where the Alpha gets Tributes and cash just for being superior and the faggot gets off knowing they are a desperate, pathetic fool. They run rampant on sites like Twitter; if you ever wonder why there are so many FinDoms on there and think to yourself, “who is paying these guys,” it’s faggots like me and my fagbrothers. We enjoy them thoroughly…even if they seem like they exploiting weak members of the community like me.

**

So to answer the question of the entry, “is an Alpha-faggot relationship sustainable in real life,” one has to ask if it’s even legitimate in the first place.

For example, do A/f relationships even fit the mold of proper BDSM? I’d argue that my relationships with Master Jack and Master Bradley were safe. I was never in danger and trusted them thoroughly. The other two markers of healthy BDSM, sane and consensual, might require a little more discussion.

Is it sane to give money away with nothing in return? Well, I’d argue I am getting something in return: denigration. Both of them authentically looked down on me, which was the goal. It’s what I wanted; thus, we both we getting something out each of the relationships. I’m fully within my mental capabilities…one might argue there’s depression is involved, which I dismiss as unfair. Just because something like this doesn’t make you happy doesn’t mean you get to accuse others of mental illness. I know what I’m doing, I entered both relationships willingly and even though they both ended in less-than-ideal circumstances, I don’t regret either one of them.

Consensual? Most A/f relationships manifest themselves as online FinDom relationships or exposure relationships, and they are very consensual, even if they come off as odd to others. The faggot sends the Alpha money from his account, but the Alpha never has access to his finances unless he explicitly gives it over. Exposure faggots will willingly send the Alpha images they want to be put out there, doing so under their free will.

With me, I ran into trouble when both Alphas threatened to expose certain parts of my relationship if I didn’t comply. With Master Jack, I knew he was very capable of ruination, and it kept me in check. The last day of our relationship was when the consensual aspect came into question; I cried about it, and he left. With Master Bradley, he said early on that he expose me to my family if I didn’t comply (we both know each other’s families very well) and it kept me obsequious. That said, during the duration of the relationship, everything was consensual from start to finish.

The truth of the matter is that A-f relationships are very legitimate. I had two of them that I loved and enjoyed both then and now. Just because they aren’t everyone’s cup of team doesn’t mean they aren’t legit.

**

However, I don’t think it’s perceived illegitimacy that makes A/f relationships questionable as to whether they can exist IRL. Rather, it boils down to who is involved in them that made me question whether they’re sustainable.

Both of my A/f relationships, as I’ve stated, were with straight Men. Specifically, they were with straight Men who were either married or getting married soon. Master Jack is polyamorous; he was married when I met him with a girlfriend, things went down, he divorced his wife and married the girlfriend. Master Bradley sent me packing because He was serious about His girlfriend becoming his fiancée, and eventually, his fiancée becoming his wife.

Neither situation allowed me to build a home with a white picket fence and 2½ children. In both instances, the plan was to live in a home they helped build nearby and serve domestically and financially, but I’d never get to be involved in family vacations, c***d rearing, home decorating, nights together, etc. No, I’d be a “friend” that lived nearby who paid to wash their jocks when their wives were away. In short, I would’ve been a side chick who uprooted her life, moved cross-country to be with a Man who wouldn’t acknowledge me, wouldn’t fuck me and in the case with the latter, wouldn’t even tell his wife and kids the nature of our relationship.

Ultimately, in both situations, the way they had been formed, both relationships would have been better suited to stay online. Just take my money, let me praise you and I’ll just fly in every once in a while, if you need my help painting one of your rooms. Nothing is added by making these A/f relationships real life situations.

Amusingly, once Master Bradley dumped me, all kinds of other Alphas jumped out of the woodwork, wanting to capitalize on a new (and willing) faggot on the market. One is a Dom who has a thing for faggot hogs like me down in Orlando, but he’s married to a woman and not out of the closet, yet he desperately wanted me to be part of his virtual harem. Others on Twitter were salivating, knowing how committed I had been to Master Bradley (specifically, his wallet) and wanted to know if an A/f relationship with me was in the future. One on here, I explicitly told I didn’t want to feel like I was disposable so I didn’t want a lot of the same things I had experienced with Master Bradley, and he immediately told me that it would be “difficult” and “tough” for me to find a healthy A/f relationship with someone where I wasn’t some exploited, disposable side chick. Everyone I ran into afterwards would have put me in the same situation…meaning I could end up single once again when the Alpha bored of me.

**

No more burying the lead. Is an Alpha-Faggot Relationship Sustainable in Real Life?

Yes. To make an Alpha-faggot relationship sustainable in real life, the relationship part has to come first.

In both situations, I sought out unavailable Men to build any type of real relationship. Each of them had originally tossed out the idea that I could possibly be part of their inner circle, living with them, etc., but that was never going to be possible. Yet for some reason, in both cases, I hung on to those feint possibilities…knowing full well I wouldn’t be getting anything resembling a relationship either time around. Unless I was okay with just being a virtual paypig fag for the rest of my life, I was going down a dead end.

No, to make this work, I need to find someone who wants to be in a relationship with me primarily, and then add the Alpha/faggot aspect afterwards. I need to be with an Alpha who sees a future with me, first and foremost. That’s true for M/s relationships, D/s relationships and (I assume) O/p relationships. Slaves, subs and property are still their partner’s partners. The hierarchical aspect comes later. To make an A/f relationship work in real life, they have to follow the same mold.

The degradation aspect (which is the part that makes an A/f relationship an A/f relationship) has to be there, and it has to be there HARDCORE. The Alpha wants that dynamic, and the faggot wants it. The idea of just sprinkling in some degradation to spice up the relationship isn’t enough; the Alpha has to genuinely see His partner as a faggot, and the faggot has to see his partner as a god. Otherwise, there’s no A/f relationship.

Determining what you want out of the relationship is something that needs to be discussed first and then something you both have to work toward together. With Master Jack, I never had a mano-y-faggoto relationship where I clearly stated what I want and expected; because I started off as an online faggot/obsessed fangirl, I never got to the level where me asking Him that would’ve been appropriate. He would have sent me packing had I insisted things that weren’t compatible with how he wanted to live his life. (Actually, he would kicked me to the curb after his prison sentence so he exploited me for my cash first…and then when he was out, sent me on my way.) With Master Bradley, the girl in his life came after we had started our relationship. Ideally, he would have sought a woman okay with our relationship since we had one already, but I knew there was 0% chance of that happening. In neither case, there was never going to be the opportunity to move forward together with either because neither were in relationships where I could be involved. Both were doomed for the start.

Even though I’m a lowly fag, the Alpha I end up with will have to work with me on filling my needs and expectations. If He’s an Alpha who wants a LTR with a fag, my expectations will seem VERY few and far between. To those who have no intentions other than exploiting weak and pathetic fags like me and my ilk, they’ll find my expectations insurmountable.

I’m not changing drastically. I DO like the online virtual exploitation. I do like everything I did with Master Jack & Master Bradley. However, starting today, January 1, 2024, I need to be in an A/f relationship that is sustainable in real life, and the one I’m in will look very different from the two I was in before.