* Financial Domination is an obvious one. Whether it's handing over cash or handing over control of a bank account, there's real actual financial pain possible without being in the same room as the fag.
* Remote control chastity. The key to the device can be locked in a box controlled by a bluetooth padlock. The fag may have the box, but there's no way it's getting the key without the Master's say so.
* Remote control butt plugs. Sub has to put it in, but then its arse is under remote control.
* Online cameras. Fag's house becomes the big brother house. Master can set all kinds of rules....
* Amazon Alexa. "Drop in" allows instant access to someone else's Echo -- voice call and microphones. Speak and hear what's going on. Great in combination with the cameras.
* Tracking apps. Use the fag's phone as a tracking device. Endless possibilities.
I fucking love technology. I fucking love control.
Transactional "Findom" Roleplay
This isn't actually Findom but instead is a fee for service act. The word "sub" is replaced with "buyer". The buyer is looking to pay for service or goods. Often, the buyer will demand videos, live sessions or pictures, etc.), and the Dom will provide them in exchange of money. In this type of relationship, it's the buyer who has the real power.
Dominant male and submissive man do a great job of "playing the role"of so called financial domination. The Dom is in charge while the submissive takes his role. These actions usually occur when one or both are horny, mostly the sub and it ends when sub decided to say Bye. Tributes can flow nicely and still the sub holds the power in this situation. In this scenario, Doms who really know how to keep their subs horny, succed.
There was this kid I met through a findom website. I say 'kid' but he was in his mid-20s and had served two tours of duty in the US Army. He was a good kid -- but life had dealt him quite a few tough hands. We chatted a bit and had a bit of a dynamic going on -- but nothing serious.
One day we were chatting and came up with a new proposal. I would take oversight of his finances, and use that to control him. It was a fun prospect. He found a website that could link to all his bank/credit/savings accounts and give a dashboard overview of all his spending and balances. It was a 'read only' view: he could give me the password without allowing me to spend his money.
Quickly it became clear that his spending was chaotic. He was a student and living quite modestly, but had no concept of controlling his spending, or making a budget. So we went through and created a budget, designed to deliver a small surplus at the end of each month. The deal would be that half of the surplus was due to be handed over to me, and the other half would go to his savings.
And so, day by day, week by week, I kept oversight of his spending, and made sure he stuck to the budget. Spending that was out of line incurred a penalty -- an extra amount to be added to the amount owed to me. When he broke down and paid other FinDoms, the penalty was that he had to add twice as much to his debt to me. With regular contact, this started to fuck with his head. Every frivolous expenditure made him feel like he was robbing me, because it reduced the monthly surplus. He learned to visualise me every time he used his debit card. He remarked on how invasive and taboo it was to have someone else looking at the intimate details of his bank account. It was a very intense relationship for a while --- even though we only met once in this period (living on different continents).
The process worked, and he quickly understood how to set a budget, and how to keep to it. I had no intention of actually taking a pay-out: he was living far too close to the edge for me to think that ethical. But he believed that I would. And that was enough.
After about six months, the arrangement came to a natural end with a change of circumstances. His debt to me was quite significant. At that point he figured out --- maybe he figured it out earlier --- that I wasn't going to collect there and then. But the deal is that someday when he's a bit richer, he owes me a pair of Wesco boots.
The kid turned his finances around and now understands how to budget. He even plays it forward and dominates other subs --- though I think he takes their money. It was an intense, horny, satisfying experience with real power exchange, without any money changing hands. Findom comes in many flavours.
The 3 C’s
Those that follow me on Twitter may have seen or heard me speak of this before, on posts and in Spaces, but I thought it should be something I could elaborate on here on OF. It is a set of standards/rules/model I go by when looking at what makes a good FinDom relationship, although this can very much apply to a majority of D/s relationships.
3 things I look for and stand by personally, when looking for a good, long lasting sub.
Now obviously there is things that sit outside of this but for me these are 3 main, ideal, must haves I want so I'll jump straight in.
Connection
Most certainly the most important of all in my opinion. Is there that “spark”? Do Dom and sub have same end goal? Do I enjoy using, draining, humiliating, bullying, nurturing this sub, and is that reciprocated.
This cannot be worked on, it's there or its not. You know if you just click with someone, I feel having this goes a long way. It helps define, what limits could be there, what can be achieved, how comfortable each is, can there be relationship out side of D/s (if either want that), what trust is in play, can sub truly give themselves or do they have to hold back. Connection covers so much, and either you've got it, or you haven't. Without this, really, the others will fall out.
One of the main reasons likely to see a D/s relationship fall apart and even just a normal romantic one…. You just didn't get one another.
Communication
This one speaks for itself, communication, we'd be nowhere in the world without it. Humans instinct is to communicate, regardless of what form that takes. Clear, concise and fluid communication will always lead to a better relationship. The opportunity for the sub to understand how the Master likes to be served, what they enjoy, what they don't like, what they want from service. And this also goes the other way too, 90% of the time, for a majority of subs I've dealt with. Both parties are here for something/s and without discussion, the real reason would be hard to understand. It can aid, greatly, in building upon that first C, connection, and consistency is key here. Way too often I've spoke to subs where great service has broken down, as one party, doesn't commit enough to this. Keeping things fresh, evolving, in line with boths wants and needs (as I fully agree it is a two way street, that obviously the Dom will command that street, but nonetheless, still two way)
Without communication, and honesty in your communication, alongside consistent communication, things quickly break down.
Control
Now this is something dear to me, and of course, means different things to us all, and it is where these 3 C’s hone themselves in to being specific around D/s / FinDom instead of a conventional relationship.
Having the right kind and right level of control. Subs expectations of this differ greatly (from my experience) and it is, and always should be, the Doms duty to control this. Whatever form it takes, weather it might be Finance/Bills, the clothes a subs wear, it's schedule, what it sends or when, all the way to the extreams of how it looks, what it eats or who it sees, there are so many levels to it and it's is a crucial 3rd C.
I fucking love controlling, it feeds my sadism, is shows my power, is let's me be the Dom I enjoy being. And it paves the way for the dynamic of my D/s relationships. It takes time and commitment from both sides but with the right effort, the initial and continual connection, partnered with that all important communication, the sky's the limits.
So what now?
Be open and honest about what you might or might not like to do or try. Keep it fresh. Work on it. Trust is a huge factor, and that doesn't come over night.
So, there they are, Major Masters 3 C’s
Connection, Communication, Control.
I’d love to hear others input and if they have similar things they look for or do to enjoy both Dom and sub are in a thriving place to continue with the kink they love!
MM
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