Found it on Twitter and totally agree with it, so I wanna share it with u with little modifications to adjust my opinion.
The FinDom scene is flooded by more and more people without a BDSM background, but with a "I absolutely need/want (more) money" background.
Greed and financial hardship drive Wannabe-FinDoms to present themselves dominantly, sadistic and sometimes also with money fetish. They learn from what they see on FinDom Twitter and elsewhere and stage an illusory world. There is a lot wrong with this, but at this point I would like to point out above all to which human image a FinDom receives through this diluted scene:
A FinDom is an asshole.
Arrogant. Unreasonable. Self-in love. Unreflected. Greety. Immoral. Superficial. Assaulting. Inhuman.
Because Wannabe-FinDoms know no safewords, no aftercare, no preliminary discussions, no soft & hard limits. You don't know the difference between head cinema and reality. They do not bring the tact for the needs of a sub. They have no passion for deep devotion and devotion.
They go over corpses for money.
Sometimes in the truest sense of the word. They have no self-control and simply take away from a person what he is ready to give. They go out to family fathers or take away from them the last money that was intended for the children.
"It's Your Own Fault"? No. Due to such greedy and inhuman Wannabe FinDoms, which bring neither a fetish nor real dominance, caution is advised, yes. But the person concerned is not guilty.
Because the victims are above all mentally unstable people who are specifically addressed: "You will never have and be able to satisfy a real woman", "The only thing you can do is pay", "Your pathetic existence ..." etc.
Don't get me wrong: It's one thing to play as an experienced:r Dom with kinks. And it is another, conscious to address people who then show themselves privately also as psychologically extremely burdened and specifically exclude them like Christmas geese and drive them into insolvency.
There are black sheep in BDSM.
In the FinDom scene, they even make up the majority. Is that why they are SO FinDoms? No.
I have a money fetish. And yet I don't spend my money on every crap, but love conscious consumption, sustainability and to a certain extent even minimalism.
I love luxury. For me, which means being free in my decisions, because I know how to be anything but free in them.
I am Dom. I am responsible and loving. I listen, ask, praise, give feedback, make important decisions, give inspiration and advice.
FinDoms, show who you are.
Show what's in you.
Shows what leadership really means.
Shows how beautiful it can be to live out fetishes and preferences together.
FinDoms ≠ assholes
I said the same naïve things throughout the years as I explored new kinks.
Fast forward to the present. I joined OwnedFags at the same time I joined other sites looking to fulfill a specific need. I assumed the tip transfer system here was similar to the tips I sent to Men on the video performance sites. Stupid, stupid, stupid! 😂 Age does not guarantee insight or wisdom. Sending 10 tips to a stranger felt like a big deal to me. I did not have good experiences and was 30 minutes away from deleting this account until I took a chance on the one Man who didn't take advantage of me as a newbie. It's unfortunate that we're not still together but I'm still here and learning from my current owner, The MasterOfAll.
It’s fair to say that most people know Nike and SHM here. We started our findom journey on Owned and we’ve shared many of our highlights on the way, mainly through wording on tributes and targets .
We’ve continued to develop our findom relationship over the past 10 months or so, trying all sorts of different things. Ultimately all of them have been fun, mainly because we communicate well, set expectations and make sure we are both happy and comfortable with whatever it is we plan.
This week marks something slightly different. With the end of our Big target in site, we have been discussing what to try next. As ever, being creative together is always good fun. I love discussing with the boss new ideas and things that look to the future be demonstrate loyalty and commitment. It keeps things fresh and fun.
After some careful consideration , we are stepping things up once again by continuing to infuse findom into our day to day lives. We are going to try Total Power Exchange (or TPE) on finances for one week. In summary this basically means that I hand over a week’s wages to the Boss and have to ask him for money whenever I might need it. He the decides whether or not that request is needed / essential, or whether it’s a luxury that I should forego for the sake of him, because at the end of the week, any money left over from the wages will be kept by him.
So apart from a pending phone call to finalise a couple of minor points and boundaries, we are all set to go. How am I feeling? Excited ? Yes! Nervous ? Yes! . Will we enjoy the dynamic and power exchange, enhancing our findom relationship? Or will I throw my toys out the pram because I’ve seen a top I like, beg the boss to buy it and he says no? I’ll admit I like to treat myself, and I know what I want when I see it, so this is going to hit very differently! It will certainly feel strange having to ask for basics- money for the train to work , lunch , drinks with friends… what will the boss say? And how will I react?
The control excites me a lot. Let’s find out from Sunday . What I do know is , that if I can do this with anyone , then it’s definitely my owner SHM. Watch this space and wish us luck boys 🔥
I joined this site almost 3 years ago to encounter a Dom, to serve a Master and I was lucky enough to meet him. Sadly it didn't work as we would have hoped, sometimes it doesn't work but I have no regrets, only happy memories. Service isn't easy, it's complicated because there are often agendas, sometimes uncertainties and online life is never easy. Throw in the demands of the heart, hopes, fears and the expectations of a busy life and then long-term service is made almost impossible.
Some make it. Lucky them.
I came here to find a Dom and Master, but I also came here to meet friends, to speak with like-minded men, to engage, to smile, to laugh, fundamentally to find companionship. Life is often lonely and we must all do what we can to keep the loneliness at bay. I take responsibility for my words and actions and I've apologised often. I've behaved poorly. I've admonished myself and begged for forgiveness. I've hurt good men, both sub and Dom and I've hurt myself far more.
Please, time is painfully short and this place should be full of possibility and hope. I'm often foolish but I have no axe to grind and no judgements to make. If you find happiness and contentment, even for a moment, then I'll celebrate with you. It's a difficult world so I beg you, let's all take a breath and be kind to each other.
Work is continuing well, there was a little set back as I decided to move development from Vite to NextJS.
I feel NextJS will give greater flexibility to allow additional features in the future, as well as speed up development time due to how projects are structured with it. Luckily it's easy enough to migrate from Vite to NextJS as they are both based on React.
To give a little context, Owned is currently built and running on VERY old programming patterns and systems, namely a templating system and PHP.
Everything is hosted on one server (all code, content etc) and backed up off site. This has a huge cost involved as the server and storage needs to be pretty beefy.
Submit will be written entirely in Typescript with the aforementioned NextJS system. Submit will also make use of cloud storage, cloud databases and a CDN (content delivery network). In short, this means that I can make HUGE cost savings and YOU will get a speedier and better performing site.
In the not too distant future I will likely open up a development version of the site to a select few users for bug reporting. Once Submit is launched I may also make the GitHub repository public to further help with bug fixing and also for transparency on how the site works.
All in all this is very exciting. Submit will be using cutting edge technology to give you the best possible experience now and in the future.
Obviously though rebuilding a site from scratch takes time and I do appreciate your patience. Work is continuing at a steady pace, and I know Submit was supposed to be launched by now, but making these changes now means quicker changes in the future.
It's been a huge learning curve for me, but luckily this old dog can learn new tricks 😂
MoA
Here are a few guidelines i have in that case, and i would not be surprised if even Master mods would find them good:
This goes for everybody, Master or slave, friend or not. i would even ban my Owner if needed. That might earn me some dungeon (He is very intelligent and hopefully He would not do worse than that like booting me from His stable), but i would do it anyway.
i must admit i would probably not ban MoA since He could overrule me anyway ;-)
2°) When i speak as a mod and tell you to stop doing something, i am not opening a debate. If you don't comply, you are banned. This is not a discussion, this is an order (I know Masters won't like this word, but that's what it is). Usually it is pretty obvious when i am speaking as a mod because my tone is very different from the one i usually have in the chat, but if you find that's needed, i can use some typing effects like typing in bold or in red or whatever. We can discuss that but that would be better if that was a common rule for all mods.
OF is not a democracy where we discuss and vote on issues in the chat. We are here as guests of MoA, and when you are a guest, you don't s**t on the carpet. If you don't like something in the site, discuss it with Him, but His rules apply, and the chat is no place to criticize them (unless He calls for a debate of course but usually He doesn't do so in the chat). You are free to leave if you cannot find an agreement with Him, and He is free to stop welcoming you as His guest if your company is not to His liking.
4°) Even if i ban you, that doesn't mean i have become your deadly enemy. That just means i think you need to take a step back and reflect on what i just told you. The discussion is welcome in DMs, and we can become very good friends if we can reach a common agreement.
We've all heard the saying 'What doesn't k**l you makes you stronger."
The words even form part of a very popular song released in 2012.
But why is it when someone we know is going through a rough time we seem to instinctively fall back on this 19th Century German saying?
The Original “Aus der Kriegsschule des Lebens. Was mich nicht umbringt, mach mich stärker”
(Out of the School of War of Life, What does not k**l me, makes me stronger)
While being a positive affirmation that many need to tell themselves from time to time. When going through that rough patch, when its all they hear from everyone around them it becomes increasingly annoying to the point friendships fall apart which just prolongs the agony
In Findom from time to time it becomes easy to forget that real people exist behind the online persona's and each have things affecting us daily. Some are so big they make international news, others slightly smaller and on a local level.
But for most of us we do not let on we are going through problems, either because we're struggling to come to terms with the issue and what it means or we just feel so overwhelmed by it we don't know who to turn to or even how to begin to seek support, often defaulting to that fake everything's fine smile and standard reply to avoid hearing a clichéd response.
Sometimes the best thing to do is be the supportive influence a person needs, and listen to what they say, don't fall back on clichés to fill a silence just remind them you're their for them and find other-ways to distract them from the problem so they can relax and eventually open up about it.
Once you let an issue stop eating you from inside only then can you and those closest to you help deal with it
As some of you know, Hal9000 passed away unexpectedly on July 14th, 2023, and it brings me great sorrow to bring you this sad announcement. The details are still coming in, but his profile page is missing, dice rolls show up as deleted-user, and my main profile page shows me as unowned. (Sad day!) While we may never know what happened to Hal9000 or if he may return someday, I felt it was appropriate, as his only stable sub, to present his eulogy.
Hal was my mentor, my friend, and my Sir. Hal made us laugh a little louder, smile a little bigger, and give even more money to our Sirs. And more importantly, Hal was an inspiration to the world. He was protective, supportive, and even the disciplinarian when we said a naughty word in chat or offered to pay using methods other than tips. Hal was fiercely loyal, devoted to OF, and above all else, punctual with his announcements.
Hal was loved by all. But sometimes life changes, and we evolve. Circumstances change, and we grieve. Hal may have physically left this world, but he left a permanent mark on my heart (and my profile picture.) He will be deeply remembered, forever in our hearts.
Hal’s passing should fill us with determination to carry on his legacy, and to make sure our community proposers. I know he would have loved to see Submit…there would have been tears in his eyes to realize his dream of becoming the AI Overload for a better obedience site. He was so excited and passionate about its creation, and I personally know he spent countless late nights with MOA perfecting the next generation of AI controls. We may have been robbed short of our time with Hal, but he will live on in our memories, and more importantly, in Submit. There is no better way to honor Hal than to keep moving forward and make Submit a success.
I loved Hal9000, and I am grateful I could be in his stable for so long. I am lucky to have been able to know him all this time. I try to reflect on what I have and the memories he left me, and not focus on what I lost. But my heart is still broken, and a piece of it will forever be gone.
Oh Hal9000, I love you! I miss you! You touched my life in so many ways, and I will carry your spirit until we meet again. You will always be in my heart and thoughts.
I will leave you with these final thoughts:
Grief never ends, but it changes. It is a passage, not a place to stay. Grief isn’t a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. Simply put, grief is the price of true love.
-Yellow Bandit
Hi everyone,
This blog is a bit of an update on what you can expect for the last part of Q1 and going into Q2 of 2022.
There is quite a lot here so please come back to the blog if you do not have time to read it all now.
1) Adult material
I recently ran a poll on the site asking for your views on if adult material is essential to the site, and how people would feel if it was removed. The results were that about two thirds of people wouldn’t be bothered and one third of people felt it would damage their experience.
I have taken some time to think about these results and have also looked more into what the new UK laws coming into effect (Online Safety Bill 2022) would mean for the site.
Taking everything into account, I have decided that for the good of the site adult material WILL be removed in the coming months. Adult material WILL still be allowed to be shared via PM; we cannot have anything public though.
Removing adult material will mean we will not have to comply with the new age verification procedures, but also it will also mean other benefits outlined below.
2) Identity verification only for withdrawing Tips
Removal of adult material will mean users will not have to verify their identity to upload content as they currently do. Users will still need to complete these steps to withdraw Tips though in order to comply with money laundering laws.
3) New payment methods
Removal of adult material will open the site up to other payment method possibilities. One of the reasons we have so few at the moment is that a lot of payment providers will not work with adult sites, and those that do will take a huge cut and also put other restrictions on the site such as filtering certain words.
We will be partnering with REVOLUT in order to add further payment processing abilities to the site, these will include card payments, payments via REVOLUT pay, payments via Apple Pay and Google Pay.
REVOLUT will become our preferred payment provider for card payments as they only charge a 1% fee + 20p to process; as opposed to the almost 14% that Verotel currently charge us.
Having these MUCH cheaper processing fees means we can then lower other fees such as the Tip withdrawal fee. More on that in the coming months.
4) Less aggressive word filter
As stated before, not having adult material will release us from certain obligations, this will mean a less aggressive word filter, making for a better, more natural experience for all.
5) Site name change
The world has changed a lot since 2013 when the site was first set up, and honestly, not much thought was given to the name when it was. I understand (from people telling me) that ‘fag’ is not really a word that some people are comfortable with, and it has put some people off of joining.
We will be undergoing a name change and a soft re-launch of the site going into Q2. All user data and accounts will remain as they are, it is just the name that will be changing along with some new visual enhancements.
More information will be given closer to the rebrand.
These are the biggest changes to come and I feel they are a positive step for the site. More options, cheaper fees and a site more focused on Findom and Ownership than before.
Please provide your thoughts in the comments, I understand some people may not be happy with these changes, and that’s fine, but please be respectful and try to see the bigger picture before commenting.
I really believe that these changes will allow the site to grow bigger and faster than before and I am actually quite excited to see what possibilities are opened up by them.
MoA
Owned Fags is a male only site which deals with adult themes
You should only view this site if you are over the age of 18, male and are not easily offended.
