Sunday morning I sat watching ‘Only Fools and Horses’ with a cuppa thinking about the day and week ahead. Has the commitment phobia I experienced in my 20’s returned? How will it feel when I give the money over? I’m suddenly thinking about the times I reduced drinking or quit smoking… trying to rationalise any fear I have about it. What if i see something I really want? Not often I can’t just say ‘YOLO’ or ‘fuck it let’s get it’ - what if I miss out on a bargain?!
Hmmm 🤔 actually, what’s more important ? A ‘thing’ or my findom relationship with SHM. Easy answer really… the ‘thing’ 😂. Joking of course - I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t an incredibly important part of my life. I tell myself to remember that.
The drain to hand over my wages was even hotter than ever. That added feeling that comes with the longevity of the control. That change in thought process, the sensation of handing over full financial control for a week just hit so differently. That feeling of transferring both the funds and power! It made me think and feel slightly differently about SHM - in a good way but I can’t quite find the words? They might come later in the blog - who knows. One thing that won’t be shared here are the numbers - they are private between us for various reasons.
The bond instantly became even stronger. Another new financial tie. Something that genuinely impacts every day life has a special feel, that’s difficult to describe - ‘connection’ doesn’t do it justice! That balance we have between outright friendship and findom gets blurred sometimes - not today! It played on my mind much of the afternoon, like it’s engrained there. What I’ve learnt from our relationship so far though, is that I never regret things I do with him because they are always carefully thought out and considered by us both. Trust and loyalty I’ve always found hot , this just took that up another notch .
Monday morning , bad 💤. Not findom related. Tired and grumpy. Commuting today, always a drag but always good when I get to the office and see people. Me and the Boss know each others routines inside out. I got up a bit earlier than normal and hovered around, waiting for the usual ‘good morning boy’ to come through. There it was, bang on cue. Usual exchanges then it starts… can I have money for the train? Agreed- gotta work as a finsub after all. Before i could even ask, coffee was to be in a flask though. No branded cappuccino extra shot. Fml 🤦
Normally I gap fill a lot of time by watching football or tennis on the tv whilst simultaneously looking at stuff online that I might want to buy. Just noticed I didn’t do that at all yesterday or on the commute 🤔.
I’ve also noticed that every now and then there is a small amount of panic about the situation. Not extreme or anything, but a sort of flutter in the chest. It feels a bit like a craving mixed with mild anxiety. Easily remedied, think Nike … you’re doing this with SHM - someone u trust more than anyone . Phew - crack on with the day.
Lunch was different today. The crew were going to a nice restaurant for a friends birthday . No such luck for me. Found out that Waitrose do a cheap meal deal. Who knew? The control has been exciting. And in typical Nike and SHM fashion kept quite light in style, but absolutely genuine in terms of obedience.
The balance of people’s reactions across platforms has been interesting . It’s ranged from Praise for the sacrifice and taking on the challenge, to being called a loser. I’m comfortable enough in my own skin to shrug off the latter, I don’t do bad for myself after all 😉. Either way i do feel a huge sense of pride making the sacrifice for my owner, even if only at this level for a short time, and no one can take that away 💪
To avoid boring everyone I’ll provide an update at the end of the week picking out any key moments, but for now , with a wet patch in my boxers I’ll leave it there 🔥💷
It’s fair to say that most people know Nike and SHM here. We started our findom journey on Owned and we’ve shared many of our highlights on the way, mainly through wording on tributes and targets .
We’ve continued to develop our findom relationship over the past 10 months or so, trying all sorts of different things. Ultimately all of them have been fun, mainly because we communicate well, set expectations and make sure we are both happy and comfortable with whatever it is we plan.
This week marks something slightly different. With the end of our Big target in site, we have been discussing what to try next. As ever, being creative together is always good fun. I love discussing with the boss new ideas and things that look to the future be demonstrate loyalty and commitment. It keeps things fresh and fun.
After some careful consideration , we are stepping things up once again by continuing to infuse findom into our day to day lives. We are going to try Total Power Exchange (or TPE) on finances for one week. In summary this basically means that I hand over a week’s wages to the Boss and have to ask him for money whenever I might need it. He the decides whether or not that request is needed / essential, or whether it’s a luxury that I should forego for the sake of him, because at the end of the week, any money left over from the wages will be kept by him.
So apart from a pending phone call to finalise a couple of minor points and boundaries, we are all set to go. How am I feeling? Excited ? Yes! Nervous ? Yes! . Will we enjoy the dynamic and power exchange, enhancing our findom relationship? Or will I throw my toys out the pram because I’ve seen a top I like, beg the boss to buy it and he says no? I’ll admit I like to treat myself, and I know what I want when I see it, so this is going to hit very differently! It will certainly feel strange having to ask for basics- money for the train to work , lunch , drinks with friends… what will the boss say? And how will I react?
The control excites me a lot. Let’s find out from Sunday . What I do know is , that if I can do this with anyone , then it’s definitely my owner SHM. Watch this space and wish us luck boys 🔥
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