There was this kid I met through a findom website. I say 'kid' but he was in his mid-20s and had served two tours of duty in the US Army. He was a good kid -- but life had dealt him quite a few tough hands. We chatted a bit and had a bit of a dynamic going on -- but nothing serious.
One day we were chatting and came up with a new proposal. I would take oversight of his finances, and use that to control him. It was a fun prospect. He found a website that could link to all his bank/credit/savings accounts and give a dashboard overview of all his spending and balances. It was a 'read only' view: he could give me the password without allowing me to spend his money.
Quickly it became clear that his spending was chaotic. He was a student and living quite modestly, but had no concept of controlling his spending, or making a budget. So we went through and created a budget, designed to deliver a small surplus at the end of each month. The deal would be that half of the surplus was due to be handed over to me, and the other half would go to his savings.
And so, day by day, week by week, I kept oversight of his spending, and made sure he stuck to the budget. Spending that was out of line incurred a penalty -- an extra amount to be added to the amount owed to me. When he broke down and paid other FinDoms, the penalty was that he had to add twice as much to his debt to me. With regular contact, this started to fuck with his head. Every frivolous expenditure made him feel like he was robbing me, because it reduced the monthly surplus. He learned to visualise me every time he used his debit card. He remarked on how invasive and taboo it was to have someone else looking at the intimate details of his bank account. It was a very intense relationship for a while --- even though we only met once in this period (living on different continents).
The process worked, and he quickly understood how to set a budget, and how to keep to it. I had no intention of actually taking a pay-out: he was living far too close to the edge for me to think that ethical. But he believed that I would. And that was enough.
After about six months, the arrangement came to a natural end with a change of circumstances. His debt to me was quite significant. At that point he figured out --- maybe he figured it out earlier --- that I wasn't going to collect there and then. But the deal is that someday when he's a bit richer, he owes me a pair of Wesco boots.
The kid turned his finances around and now understands how to budget. He even plays it forward and dominates other subs --- though I think he takes their money. It was an intense, horny, satisfying experience with real power exchange, without any money changing hands. Findom comes in many flavours.
A Jubilee celebration, to keep minds focused on what really matters.
With apologies to those outside the UK madhouse.
Long squeeze the lowly queens
Gods drain the queens.
Send them huge targets
Happy to service us
Long to give tips to us
Gods drain the queens!
Their choicest gifts in store
On Masters, pleased to pour
Long may they tip!
May they respect our rules
And ever give us cause
To fuck with mighty thrusts
Gods drain the queens!
I guess I'm not a poet. Maybe others can improve on this!
But what about interaction at a distance?
I mention this because I was in touch with an inexperienced fag yesterday who said he got locked in chastity shortly before the covid lockdown, and was then stuck in the cage because he couldn't meet his KH. Now, that's quite funny if you're into chastity, but at some point the fag says he really wanted out. He says the KH refused to send the key in the post. At that point, you start to think that's eventually rather shitty behaviour. In fact, if the sub truly wants out, and is not given a way out, that's a***e. [Let's overlook the question of whether a ball-trap device can really be that perfect; we can also discount the "what if the key got lost in the post" excuse, since every lock always has more than one key. As for me, I'd always insist on the fag having access to an emergency key.]
It strikes me that people seldom have a safe word for cyber/online D/s. But wouldn't that be a good idea? So you can distinguish between the "I hate being locked" moaning and the actual withdrawal of consent. It might make interacting all the more horny if there is some pleading and moaning --- while you know that the fag is laying it on thick and isn't actually at the point of wanting out for real.
Does this also carry over to findom, and anything that's all in the mind? The sub who wants out can, of course, just stop responding/block/run away. But mindfuckery doesn't really work that way does it? Or, not for everyone: so you get the phenomenon of fags crawling back for more. To give them an 'out' requires the Master to work out if they're genuinely needing to be cut loose, or of they just need encouragement. I don't know if safewords would help here. I need to think more about this.
Of course, there are other darker themes around the same scenes - 'cash ****', 'b*******l', and more. Trying to find the right line, some are keen to add the word 'consensual' to those terms -- but that seems like a contradiction in terms: just because you can form the phrase doesn't mean it makes sense. I guess what people are trying to get at there is an element of role-play, in the first case, and a form of advance commitment in the second. This is edgier, but appeals to some I know: edgy because all sorts of law and protections surrounds all of these activities.
A bit of edge spices things up a bit, but a serious risk to my career, or to my credit rating, or even to my financial or other online accounts, is quite a mood killer. I want to be enjoying the financial domination game, not looking over my shoulder for a submissive who wants to make mischief or worse.
And sub behaviour is of course the other challenge here. If your capacity to consent is impaired - because you are deceived, or because you are mentally ill, or even because you suffer from serious low self-esteem issues, then please seek professional help and stay away from this community. On the other hand, if you fully have capacity, but tend to think with your cock, or you tend to get pissed and start sending tributes, I have no problem with taking your money.
Others will have different outlooks, and a different propensity to edginess. Find your appropriate level. As for me, a fully aware, capable consenting adult who serves me - preferably over and over again - is truly, deeply, fucking sexy.
[with apologies for triggering word filter warnings - fair enough]
One of my favourite quotes is from Orwell, in Nineteen-Eighty-Four, which really sums things up well:
“How does one man assert his power over another, Winston?“
Winston thought. “By making him suffer”, he said.
“Exactly. By making him suffer. Obedience is not enough. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own? Power is in inflicting pain and humiliation. Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing.
There are few better descriptions of the power exchange dynamic in BDSM. The distinctive of BDSM is that that power exchange is - or should be - consensual and voluntary. That makes it all the better.
* Financial Domination is an obvious one. Whether it's handing over cash or handing over control of a bank account, there's real actual financial pain possible without being in the same room as the fag.
* Remote control chastity. The key to the device can be locked in a box controlled by a bluetooth padlock. The fag may have the box, but there's no way it's getting the key without the Master's say so.
* Remote control butt plugs. Sub has to put it in, but then its arse is under remote control.
* Online cameras. Fag's house becomes the big brother house. Master can set all kinds of rules....
* Amazon Alexa. "Drop in" allows instant access to someone else's Echo -- voice call and microphones. Speak and hear what's going on. Great in combination with the cameras.
* Tracking apps. Use the fag's phone as a tracking device. Endless possibilities.
I fucking love technology. I fucking love control.
Owned Fags is a male only site which deals with adult themes
You should only view this site if you are over the age of 18, male and are not easily offended.
