One of my favourite quotes is from Orwell, in Nineteen-Eighty-Four, which really sums things up well:
“How does one man assert his power over another, Winston?“
Winston thought. “By making him suffer”, he said.
“Exactly. By making him suffer. Obedience is not enough. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own? Power is in inflicting pain and humiliation. Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing.
There are few better descriptions of the power exchange dynamic in BDSM. The distinctive of BDSM is that that power exchange is - or should be - consensual and voluntary. That makes it all the better.
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