Safe, Sane, Consensual

In real-time BDSM, many make these three their watchwords as part of the path to ethical Dominance and s********n -- or slavery.  This makes excellent sense.  For the wise, a safe word is a key part of that: It marks the withdrawal (temporary, or as a full end to the scene) of consent.  Continuing when consent has been withdrawn is fucked-up behaviour and could even be criminal.

But what about interaction at a distance?

I mention this because I was in touch with an inexperienced fag yesterday who said he got locked in chastity shortly before the covid lockdown, and was then stuck in the cage because he couldn't meet his KH.  Now, that's quite funny if you're into chastity, but at some point the fag says he really wanted out.  He says the KH refused to send the key in the post.  At that point, you start to think that's eventually rather shitty behaviour.  In fact, if the sub truly wants out, and is not given a way out, that's a***e. [Let's overlook the question of whether a ball-trap device can really be that perfect; we can also discount the "what if the key got lost in the post" excuse, since every lock always has more than one key.  As for me, I'd always insist on the fag having access to an emergency key.]  

It strikes me that people seldom have a safe word for cyber/online D/s.  But wouldn't that be a good idea?  So you can distinguish between the "I hate being locked" moaning and the actual withdrawal of consent.  It might make interacting all the more horny if there is some pleading and moaning --- while you know that the fag is laying it on thick and isn't actually at the point of wanting out for real.

Does this also carry over to findom, and anything that's all in the mind?  The sub who wants out can, of course, just stop responding/block/run away.  But mindfuckery doesn't really work that way does it?  Or, not for everyone: so you get the phenomenon of fags crawling back for more. To give them an 'out' requires the Master to work out if they're genuinely needing to be cut loose, or of they just need encouragement.  I don't know if safewords would help here.  I need to think more about this.