It is common for people to take a step back and dedicate a portion of their time to self reflection at the beginning of a new year.
As opposed to making that process coincident with the Earth completing yet another boring loop around the Sun, I like to entertain such thoughts closer to my birthday instead (the 5th of April), which seems like a much better occasion and excuse to celebrate and look back.
By the time I turn thirty seven next week, I will have been a member of this site for almost three years, and I think that it is fair to say that this site has changed me; not in a drastic, or in a bad way. But the more we grow, the more we find ourselves wanting to learn and experience new things, for which change is usually a suitable mechanism to go through.
This has always been a trait of mine, also in my personal and my professional life: I do not like stagnation and I do not do well staying at idle over extended periods of time.
My time in OF has not been any different.
When I first joined, I found myself surrounded by people who, for the first time, understood a very personal part of me that I had rarely shown to anyone else.
I would say that my communication style back then was certainly more assertive, if not borderline aggressive. Perhaps under the misconception (unfortunately shared by many) that such were the tools and characteristics of Dominants.
Being, at the time, surrounded by a number of very successful Alphas with a clear bias towards leather, boots worshiping, or pain-play (kinks which were not particularly high up on my list of preferences, or not as high as they were in theirs, at least), made me question my approach to domination compared to theirs.
I was still feeling a sense of belonging, but there were very significant differences between us that I struggled to reconcile.
Yet, these guys managed to pique my interest on a continued basis, and even brought a competitive side out of me, wanting me to do better within the scene. And the ability to motivate others is something that I will always admire in people.
The chat room was a fundamental tool for me to gain perspective. I found myself chatting with other users for hours, subs and Doms alike, getting to know them better, appreciating the nuances of their dynamics, learning about what made them tick, getting insights into their psyche, and eventually bounding with them.
And, as I learnt more from them and about them, I also learnt more about myself: what fascinated me the most about this site was and will always be the human interactions.
It is not about sums of money, it is not about the rankings, it is not about sex; it is about building trusting relationships:
With my fellow Doms, because they are individuals sharing a rather unique and uncommon kink with me.
And with subs, because the unquestioning obedience that most of us seek comes from building trust and developing relationships, rather than from proclaiming a title and dictating rules.
And, as it happens, I have always been good and thoroughly enjoyed building relationships.
I did not need the gear, I did not need the aggressiveness and, for what is worth, I did not even need a face. I just had to continue exploring the beauty of human interactions and their multiple facets to find my place.
As a wise submissive from this site said once (yes, there are A LOT of smart, incredibly intelligent, and wise submissives around): the rest are nothing more than tools to “lubricate” such relationships.
Fast-forward a couple of years, my approach has not changed much ever since that initial realisation. What has drastically changed is who I choose to cultivate those relationships with, and how much energy I opt to invest in each of them.
Arguably, it is a matter of deciding “whether if the juice is worth the squeeze”. And if you think I am talking about cash, think again; subs and Doms can offer a lot more than that.
I have significantly reduced my interactions in the chat room, I have not made as much contributions to the site as I used to, but I am still enjoying it, having fun and I plan to continue celebrating birthdays as a member of Submit for years to come.
I would urge you to dwell and dig deeper too. Open up (not only sexually, but also mentally), make your dynamics varied, get creative.
Transactional interactions can be fun, but they are usually short-lived.
As I often tell my subs: in a few years time, you will not remember the individual tributes you received or made, but you will certainly cherish the way some of them made you feel and the interactions that you had the opportunity to share along the way.
Let’s begin by stating what I consider to be a basic principle: superiority is earned, not given.
I would question anyone claiming that asserting dominance over someone else is their “birthright”, or that they were born superior.
There are, of course, social and environmental factors that might have given someone the upper hand, or at least a certain advantage, in the path to earn that status. However, such things do not suffice to claim the title.
There is a reason why competency based interviews exist: writing up the perfect resume is easy, but demonstrating that you have all the right skills to perform well in a role is a different story.
It is similar to someone claiming to be funny: prove it to me, tell me a joke, make me laugh, and only then I shall agree with that statement.
There is of course a certain type of character who may fall victim of what has been referred to as the illusory truth effect: repeat a lie often enough and people will come to believe it.
And even though our actions should not be, for the most part, conditioned by the recognition from others, in this particular case, the power of numbers matters.
Superiority drives momentum, and it is, inevitably, closely related to leadership.
Most of us would recognise the key attributes of a good leader: charisma, confidence, integrity, motivation, authenticity, credibility, creativity, emotional intelligence, gravitas…
Powerful people move masses; not by chance, but because the way they portray themselves appears to be attractive to others, and it is that magnetism what provides the power to influence others.
One might wonder what specific characteristics can be considered attractive, and that would probably be a topic for an entirely different blog.
For some, it comes down to physical appearance, looks, and muscles; others value communication skills and empathy; a few people prioritise intelligence and knowledge; many would argue that the most attractive leaders, the truly superior ones, are those who happen to be the full package… and there is always the hopeless ones for whom a full package is reason enough to follow, submit, and obey.
So if you have made it thus far and read this blog in its entirety, ask your self:
As a slave, are you really serving someone who you admire and respect, someone who motivates you, and that you consider a rightful leader?
As a Master, are you really “superior”, and do you really have traits that separate yourself from the rest?
I thought of a lighthearted proposal for the community which will serve the twofold purpose of getting to know people a bit better, whilst making it amusing and entertaining for me.
The idea is simple:
I want you to confess a secret, a dark fetish, a guilty pleasure, or a filthy fantasy to me.
These be can be either things that have happened to you already (e.g. I regularly use vegetables for sexual gratification), or kinks and fantasies that you hope you will experience one day (e.g. I want to have sex with my boyfriend’s dad).
The mechanism to do this is simple and inspired by the traditional fortune cookies, which normally contain a piece of paper with a hidden message inside 🥠.
You shall go into my profile > tribute > send gift > food & d***k
and select the item which resembles a fortune cookie the most: the croissant 🥐.
The process to transform a simple and boring croissant into a much more exciting “crois-sin” takes place by using the “message” field at the bottom of the screen where you can type your confession.
All messages need to start with the word “crois-sin 🥐😈”, followed by your darkest deeds and fantasies.
You may opt to click the “send private gift” toggle, so that only I will be able to see it, or send it publicly, so that your crois-sin will be seen by everyone on the platform.
With the latest changes to the tips transfer system recently introduced in the site, everyone can play the game and take part on the proposal… so let’s get baking, guys, and let’s hear about your deepest and darkest sins 🥐😈.
There is a tradition dating back to the 1900s that EVERY single Spanish person observes on New Year’s Eve (NYE) at midnight.
People all over the country congregate around town halls, squares, and churches, or they turn on their TVs at home with a small pack of grapes with them (twelve, to be precise 🍇).
Each and every time that the town hall’s or the church’s bell tolls at 00:00 on the 1st January, we proceed to eat one of the grapes 🔔.
The twelve grapes represent the months of the calendar year. People make a wish as they eat each grape, which is meant to bring good luck for the coming year 📆.
Another tradition observed in NYE consists of wearing a piece of red underwear to bring good luck in love and sex life ❤️.
It is also common to toast with a glass of champagne at midnight and drop a piece of golden jewellery inside the glass for good luck in finances 💍🥂.
Of course, it has also become very common to set off fireworks at midnight, albeit this is a much wider spread custom globally (and pups are not very appreciative of it!)🎆.
Traditions like these are important because they provide a sense of belonging and community.
No matter what people’s personal circumstances are, the whole country comes together to perform these rituals in unison, and they somehow help bringing us together, which I think is beautiful.
Owned Fags is a place that also has the power of bringing people together as a community.
Take the time over the coming days to appreciate that and, if you are running out of ideas about how to strengthen that bond, feel free to use the exact same practices I described:
Send a basket of fruit, a glass of wine, or 120 tips to your Master to represent the grapes.
Open a bottle of champagne and drop some gold inside from the “premium” or the “jewellery” section for your Alpha.
Cover the newsfeed with jockstraps (they are not red, but needs must), and throw some confetti from the “miscellaneous” section instead of fireworks.
But overall, appreciate the company and time of your kinky peers, regardless of whether if you are a sub or a Dom, and have a wonderful 2022, my dearest deviants.
You turn up a bit nervous, even though it is not your first time there.
He welcomes you in full gear which, at first, always feels a bit intimidating.
He can read it in your body language, so he puts a firm hand on your shoulder to put you at ease as he looks deep in your eyes and says:
- You have nothing to worry about, just relax, boy.
He shows you where he wants you to lay down and you immediately do as you are told.
He is in charge.
Sometimes he is there on his own, but oftentimes he also invites one of his colleagues over, making you feel even more vulnerable and outnumbered.
- Open up for me, boy
he orders, as he approaches your gaping hole with his hands.
He usually starts by sticking his fingers inside first and then continues by making use of some of his tools.
- Open wider for me, boy, much wider.
he says, as he proceeds to explore your insides.
- This might hurt a little bit, but you have to relax and trust me.
he says, as he has his way inside you.
You feel completely powerless and at his mercy, yet somehow it feels right letting him do what he does best.
At the end of the day, you were the one who decided to arrange the visit in the first place.
You have no say on the matter and you have been told that you are not allowed to speak anyway, so you stay there, quietly, trying not to gag until he is fully satisfied with his work.
It is always him who determines when it is over, your opinion does no matter, so you just allow him to continue as he goes in and out your hole with all his tools and toys, while you drool and feel pathetic.
Meanwhile, his colleague witnesses the scene in awe as you feel completely numb while he goes harder and deeper into your orifice.
- We are done with you now, boy.
You did well.
You may spit or swallow if you want.
You thank him, as you have been told you should always do.
You leave the room, still a bit confused after having paid a significant large amount of money, knowing damn well that this is definitely not going to be the last time that you visit the dentist.
It is no secret that some of the tributes on OF are under-utilised, and those under the “holidays” section are probably used WAY less frequently compared to others.
As I often say, servitude transcends far beyond money: devotion and worshipping can take many forms and shapes.
My submissive pet Tohey93 understands this well and he had no issues stepping up to the challenge of decorating my pics to give them a Halloween touch 👻 🎃.
He came up with what could (arguably) be considered FOUR works of art, which will serve the purpose of:
a) Re-invigorating the use of some of the less-loved tributes on the site.
b) Entertaining ME.
c) Having a bit of fun.
I have posted a picture with the four “pieces of art” he created and you can cast your vote for your favourite by sending the tribute shown in the corner of each pic (these can be found under the tribute > send gift > “holidays” section).
PS1: Yes, there is a rabbit between the options, but if Donnie Darko got away with it as a Halloween costume, so can I 🐰.
PS2: No, this is not “findom”, strictly speaking; but if you are not having a bit of fun with your submissives, you should check your priorities and you are welcomed to ignore this post.
Happy Halloween!
On the 6th of January, the Epiphany is celebrated in Spain.
In the original Christmas story, the Three Wise Men (Melchior, Gaspar and Balthazar) brought gold, frankincense and myrrh as tributes.
Nowadays, on this date, ALL SORTS of gifts are delivered to kids that have been nice, and charcoal (usually edible black sugar cubes) to those who have been naughty.
c******n must go to bed early the night of the 5th and leave their shoes (polished and cleaned) outside their bedroom in order for them to get their presents delivered.
Kids also leave a pick-me-up d***k or a nightcap for the Three Wise Men for the long night ahead.
It is also customary to eat Roscon de Reyes, a big doughnut-like cake usually filled with cream or chocolate. The cake has two items hidden inside: a bean and a small figurine or toy.
The person who finds the figurine (be mindful of c*****g!) gets to wear a crown and is meant to have good luck for the rest of the year.
The person who finds the bean is meant to pay for the cake!
It is difficult NOT to make an analogy between this particular celebration and our beloved world of findom:
There is no question about there being plenty of “wise men” in OF, deserving all sorts of gifts, gold bars and crowns; but there are even more so naughty boys around us, deserving nothing but punishment.
Collections of shoes (or feet) are often displayed on the site, including trainers, boots and even a few pairs of high heels.
Subs often behave like c******n (even wearing diapers), but they dutifully lick their Master’s boots clean without question at any given time.
They can also be asked to go to bed early at their Master’s discretion (when their bed is not swapped by a cage or the floor, that is...) or even be deprived of any rest altogether, if it has not been earned.
Abundant supplies of pick-me-up drinks and nightcaps are often displayed on the site, from the basic coffee and beer, to the more elaborate, cheeky, and sophisticated cocktails prepared by some of the most dutiful servants.
And I do not think it is necessary for me to make a more explicit reference to subs burying their faces in donut-like areas which, as with the Roscon de Reyes, can sometimes be either plain, filled with cream or even chocolate...
But in our world, subs are always the ones finding the toys (and c*****g on them), and Masters are always the lucky ones being crowned, as we rightfully deserve.
So let’s celebrate the end of the festive season together in the best possible way.
Let there be crowns, gold bars, subs licking feet and shoes clean, stuffing their faces and chocking, providing pick-me-up drinks and nightcaps, plenty of gifts, and spreading happinesses as they spread their legs!
Owned Fags is a male only site which deals with adult themes
You should only view this site if you are over the age of 18, male and are not easily offended.
