Master Dorian changed my life, in a way no one else has or will, I suspect.
I joined OF about 8 months ago. Well, joined to stay, that is - my first profile came almost 3 years ago. I was just a lurker, mostly vanilla back then. I fancied myself a top at least, if not a dom, but was curious about the other side. I stumbled on Master Dorian's profile early, and was immediately captivated - and not entirely in positive ways, mind you. Who was this man who posessed such sheer audacity, such shameless entitlement? Who would actually send Him money, sell their belongings, sacrifice from their lives to send Him more? Why was He so attractive? Why couldn't I keep from reading His blogs, posts, captions, and everything He published over and over and over? Why couldn't I get enough? Then He messaged me. Nothing pushy, just a polite hello; i still freaked out and deleted my profile. I felt like I'd been caught doing something i shouldn't. Did He know I was obsessing over a stranger on the internet I'd never interacted with? Surely not, but better safe than sorry. Still, I kept coming back to His page, rereading His words, addicted to something I didn't understand.
A year later, I made a 2nd profile, with the same lurk-ful intentions. My first message was from, guess who? It was simply "I remember you..." Needless to say, I freaked out and deleted for a second time. A shame I realize now, the beautiful, fullfilling dynamic I'm aparty to could've started so much earlier, but I digress. The same questions above still echoed through my head. I still found myself returning to OF profile-less, insatiable as I was for more of the undefinable man I had stumbled upon in this corner of the internet. I thought He must be lying, or playing out a role for His own titillation, because nobody could really think like that, could they? I mean, He couldn't be that much of a sadist, He was Canadian! (Please forgive these foolish, unlearned thoughts, Master, it hurts to even remember thinking this way)
Fast forward to September of 2023; I made my 3rd OF profile, and this one stuck. I mustered the courage I could find and sent my first, timid message to Master Dorian. It's been a whirlwind ever since. He's taken me to places I never dreamed possible psychologically, intellectually, emotionally, physically (and of course, financially); there's so much I want to say and detail, but this is already getting to be on the girthy side, so I'll focus on concision with highlights (Master Dorian tells me I need to work on talking/writing too much, and He's always right). Maybe this will become part of a series.
I am absolutely infatuated by and with Him. Obsessed. Addicted. Words fail, so luckily money talks. He taught me so much about myself, about life, about hierarchy, about truth. He's a charismatic lion, an intellectual powerhouse, an emotional fortress, a physical David; a true black rose, thorns and all.
I remember the first time He called me His faggot - I bristled a bit, thinking "I'm just gay, gee, this kink world sure is a whacky place!" Now, I know that's what I truly am, have been, all along - waiting to find an Alpha as only exists in Him. I was a vanilla fag back then, with a few regular sized toys I rarely used - now I love shoving a 10inch, oversized dildo up my ass to the hilt, desperately fucking and stretching myself for His amusement.
I remember the first time He called me His puppet - I thought "Really? that's kind of over-the-top, isn't it?" Now, I relish the truth of that term; I've never been so thoroughly hollowed out by another, cored to the point where nothing else matters to me like pleasing Him, doing more for Him, sacrificing for Him, suffering for Him. Why? Because He deserves it. Why should I worry about keeping money for myself, spending money on myself, saving for my future when my future is already here?
I rememeber the first time He said "it's all mine anyways." I thought "Ok, I'll play along, sure it is" (again, please forgive these thoughts, Master). Then I realized how deep in I was. Then I realized it didn't matter what limits I set for myself, because I wouldn't dare disobey or disappoint Him anyways. He knows my financial limits better than I do - if He takes more than I'm expecting or able to afford, that just means I need to cut back, sacrifice elsewhere to make more room for Him. When I realized i had no limits anymore, I was terrified, but He assured me that he keeps my financial health in mind, and He does - just not in the way most would expect. He knows better than me, in all things, and I've learned to defer to that wisdom, in all ways.
I remember the first time He called me His favorite pet - a rush, an electric thrill up and down my spine; I want nothing more than to be the best faggot wallet I can be for Him. I saved the message several times. Master Dorian knows I have an ego-issue with always wanting to be the best but...I'm still working on some things.
When I joined OF 8 months ago, I was mostly a well-adjusted, stable, somewhat vanilla guy. I never contemplated being "owned" by someone, until Master Dorian gently guided me into his ruthless reality. 8 months ago, I had several thousand in savings, no credit card debt, no loans, and at least *** in my retirement fund, while saving for a vacation. Now? I have nothing in savings. Master Dorian regularly drains my checking account into the negative, which I'm always grateful for. Those weeks, I have to truly live on nothing. I've maxed out all my credit cards and available credit, taken out multiple loans, cancelled my vacation plans (which I hadn't told Him yet, but I hope it pleases Him) and liquidated my assets to less than $1,800, and you know what? I've never felt more fulfilled and purposeful in my entire life. I was lonely, depressed, and felt like my life was meaningless before I met Master Dorian, even with all that "financial stability." Now I've finally realized that I do have a purpose - making His life better by sending and sacrificing for Him.
I rarely go out to eat anymore. I don't go to the movies. I've cancelled most of my subscriptions (speaking of...there are probably one or two I have that I should still cancel, I don't want to be a selfish faggot). I cancelled my trip to Vegas with my best friend, and I never fill my gas tank up more than a quarter of the way. I need to quit smoking cigarettes - that's another selfish use of Master Dorian's money. I pay bills late when necessary, buying only necessities for food and groceries. I don't go out to bars, clubs, or any extra-curriculars that could cost money - all so I can send those savings to Master Dorian. Does He need my money? Of course not, He has plenty - it just gives Him more spending money, and that's my reason for existing. It's beautiful, it's pure, it's sub******n and power-exchange in the deepest, most consequential and permanent of ways. I need that purpose, desperately. I live in poverty so He can live in abundance - destitution is His gift to me, my privilege unearned. I adore Him for it. He's the perfect sadist, and I endeavor to be a perfect masochist, for Him. I write this not for my own aggrandizement or ego, but to highlight how deeply, truly powerful Master Dorian is; all glory goes to Him alone.
What do I do with all that free extra time? Devote it to Him, of course. I spend hours, often several, worshipping and edging to His power over me every day. I don't have sex or hookup with others now, I haven't for months - sending to Master Dorian is sex for me now. When I send, I get aroused, and when I'm aroused, I think of sending. I finished while fantasizing about being homeless for Him yesterday. He's the first and last thing on my mind at when waking or š¤ing. He's the center of my life, while I'm only a tiny part of his. Balance, as it should be and must be. It's not just a kink, it's a lifestyle.
If you made it this far, I appreciate your time and your attention. Feel free to ask any questions or leave any comments below.
Master Dorian has taught me innumerable things, but the number one thing, the namesake of this blog post - Humility. True humility, to be shown only to one as deserving as Him, in every aspect of my life. He humbles my mind, body, spirit, and wallet, and I can't thank Him enough for it. Our dynamic is a beautiful symbiosis, one that I look forward to growing and preserving every day, hopefully for... as long as He wishes it to be so. We're nearing ten k sent. I haven't even met Him yet. I can't wait to see where He takes me further.
And to think, all this from a humble Canadian!
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