I don’t know why I’m writing this, I guess I needed some closure for this.
Few months ago a dom I served for over a year decided to block me everywhere, and it totally destroyed me. We were a little bit more than just findom and we get along on so many things.
I don’t want to talk about what happened, what matters in the end is I was completely traumatized by the experience. I even wanted to k**l myself for that. I feel like I was being too naive.
I don’t know if I could send money to anyone anymore, it feels like no matter what I do, I couldn’t get anyone to understand me, I couldn’t even get someone to like me doing something as low as a finsub.
I just can’t trust anyone anymore, not just findom but also regular dom/sub, people could promise whatever they want but it’s really up to them to keep the promise.
It’s easier to just accept my severe mental illness makes people frustrated and just don’t want to care.
Could I find something long term ever again? Probably not. After what happened I think people only care about themselves no matter what they say.
And I was naive and too easy to trust people, thinking I could get something genuine off the internet, and my mental illness makes me unable to deal with whatever bad things that’s going to happen
